“[You] talk to me like I’m a real person…”

By 3 commentsAbortion, Patient Stories, ,

 

Pam is in her late twenties and works three jobs to provide for herself and her 5-year-old. She has no support from her family. Pam’s first interaction with CompassCare was through a virtual intake appointment, which is a recent innovation designed to boost patient show rates by building rapport with the patients quicker.

Pam came to her initial appointment at CompassCare worried because she is not sure who the father of the baby is and uncertain that she could handle another child right now. During her ultrasound, Pam saw her 7-week-old baby on the screen, moving his arms and legs vigorously, and heard his rapid heartbeat. She began crying quietly. After the ultrasound was complete her nurse gently asked how she felt about what she saw. Pam paused and replied, “everything depends on who the father is.”

Upon reviewing the gestational age of her preborn child, Pam was relieved to find that her boyfriend is the father. Her nurse then led her into a discussion about God and His love for her, offering Pam an opportunity to hear the gospel and asking if she would like to surrender her life to Christ. Pam’s response was to tearfully grab her nurse’s hands and cry, “Please, let’s do it!”

Pam scheduled a return appointment and remarked before leaving, “I’m coming back because you look me in the eye and talk to me like I’m a real person – you’re so nice to me.”

Unfortunately, Pam headed out of CompassCare’s door and into an incredible season of trauma and heartbreak stemming from multiple deaths in her family. After many attempts to reach her, Pam’s nurse finally got through a few weeks after her initial appointment. When asked how she is doing, Pam began crying so hard she couldn’t talk.

Her nurse learned that in addition to the deaths in her family, her boyfriend is now pressuring her to abort. She has not been eating or sleeping and her nurse stayed on the phone with her for some time, letting her know she was there for her and encouraging her to come back in for further support.

Thankfully, after many phone calls and follow-up appointments, Pam decided to carry her baby to term. Despite the difficulties and obstacles, Pam declared that she cannot bear to think of aborting her now 14-week-old baby. Praise God for the courage of this young woman, and thank you for making it possible for women like Pam to receive the life-saving services they so desperately need.

Disclaimer: Names and details have been changed to protect patient confidentiality.

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3 comments on ““[You] talk to me like I’m a real person…””

  1. Rita Nutt Reply

    I think CompassCare is one of the best pro-life ministries out 5hete. I have been supporting you monthly but I think somehow that got stopped. Can you check for me and put me back on a $10.00/ month donation? It isn’t much but at least it is a little help. Please let me know. Thank you.

  2. Teal Reply

    I am prolife in Ohio where issue 1 the abortion vote is about to happen. I have a couple of questions that have been bothering me. What should a pregnant woman do if she has a disability or serious illness and carrying a baby to the point of viability would cause her very serious health consequences for her. Next what is a woman who finds out she is pregnant and also that she has stage 4 cancer, would require surgery, chemotherapy and radiation to save her life? The treatment could cause a spontaneous abortion and if she lived through the pregnancy herself she might lose her life anyway and not be there for her children she already has with no where to turn for their care? What if a woman with a developmental delay and serious mental health problems finds out she is pregnant 5 months along and on an ultrasound the Psychiatric medicine she has been taking has caused fetal anomalies that will leave the baby with life-threatening heart defects. The young woman does not fully understand what is happening to her body or the developing unborn baby.Is it our right to convince her or her Guardian to have her go through with the pregnancy when it is damaging to the woman’s mental health because she can no longer take the psychiatric medication to keep her from experiencing psychosis, she is frightened constantly and will not cooperate with prenatal care? What if a woman has a severe alcohol use disorder,finds she is pregnant 2 months along and learns from her doctor that her baby could be born with fetal alcohol syndrome ( children with that disorder are likely to have severe behavioral issues and learning disorders) The woman does not feel she can be a proper parent especially for a child with a disability like that and she is scared to give the baby up to have it placed in foster care because she has heard that children with disabilities are vulnerable to abuse and might end up in a facility somewhere? Do we have the right to convince these women to continue their pregnancies? What if a child like the last woman’s child would mean another child in foster care which is already an over burdened system where children with special needs frequently linger for their whole childhood then end up in institutions anyway where there is a possibility they could be neglected or abused with staffing in these facilities being so low? Do we have the right to tell a woman in either situation that her life, her health and her mental state dies not matter? If her life is lost or deteriorates because of her pregnancy are we actually pro- life if we try to convince her to carry out her pregnancy? These situations are situations I knew of in my community but these types of complicated situations happen all over Ametica and the world. What if a woman suffers long term psychological injury because she has to carry the pregnancy caused by her rapist? What if a 12 year old girl finds she is pregnant and her parents want her to have an abortion? A child protective services may support the parent’s decision these days. In my state there are stories being told that women with ectopic pregnancy or misscarriage will not be treated and in fact have had to go to other states where abortion is legal to get the care they need. What do we say to these women. I grant you that pro- lifers will be viewed as cold and cruel given these situations.

    • CompassCare Reply

      Hi Teal,
      Thank you for your comment.
      The truly pro-life position is that all people are made in the Image of God and are equally valuable, worthy of blessing and protection. That means two things for the difficult situations that you bring up: 1) it is incumbent on the People of God to help the woman value both herself and her baby as made just a little lower than God, and 2) the medical system must heal and maintain the health of both of them. The situations you listed will be difficult, but the pro-life Christian can come along women in even rare situations like that and bring her the intensely practical truth that she is loved, her baby is loved, and the Church (acting through places like CompassCare) is willing to help her save her baby.
      To answer your question “do you have the right to” encourage her to protect her baby. Absolutely! By the wording of your comment, it’s clear you won’t come across as demeaning. Just loving explain to her, “I’m not trying to manipulate you. But please know that both you and your baby are infinitely valuable. How can I help you do this?”
      Another point is the ectopic pregnancies. There is nowhere in the US where a woman will be denied medical care when experiencing a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy. That is an unfortunate scare tactic used by certain abortionists and media outlets that attempt to equate abortion with miscarriage. Abortion is the intentional ending of a healthy pregnancy, which a real doctor never does. Serving a woman who experiencing a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy is standard OB care.
      You’re a pro-life champion, Teal. Thank you for asking the hard questions and being willing to stand in the gap for your community.
      The CompassCare Team

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